Oh!
Ahhhh!
♪
Ahhhh!
♪
Counterfeit Cat!
♪
- Yay! - Aaagh!
Sports, sports, sports!
Ugh. And this is why I don't do sports.
I'm outties to the park...
the nice, relaxing, non-sportsy park.
Drop and give me 50,000!
Hiya, Max! We're sportsing!
Uh, Gark...
explanation, please?
I challenged Planet Kruton to a grudge match
to prove Planet Earth isn't
the pathetic lump of stink-dung Flargle says it is!
Ahaha! Old Flargle spouting off again,
is she? He? It?
Also, who's that?
And, follow-up question: who cares?
Some alien jerk with a blog called "Planet Earth is"
a Pathetic Lump of Stink-Dung".
Well, he's wrong!
Can I count on your help?
My help?! At sportsing?!
♪
Aaagh!
That windmill had it coming!
Sorry, Gark.
The only sport I can be bothered doing
is LISACME.
Liz who-ey?
It stands for "Lying Incredibly Still And Closing My Eyes".
I'm pretty sure that's not a real sport.
It's totally a sport!
Welcome to this intergalactic football throwdown,
here on host planet Wussypants -
a.k.a. "Earth"!
Now arriving, the away team:
Maneaters United!
♪
So that's what animals from the Sweden look like, huh?
I had to tell them something.
They're here to play Earth's team...
looks like "Wieners"?
It's meant to say "The Winners"!
Oh. 'Cause it looks like "Wieners".
And here's the captain of Maneaters United.
♪
Hi, Gark!
Hello, Flargle.
Uh, this is the jerk?
Don't let the appearance fool you!
We're going to have so much fun!
...tearing you wimps a new mucous gland!
You don't scare me.
Oh, gosh!
Well, enjoy your gland-tearing and such.
Listen up, Team Wiener... uh, Winner!
It's not whether you win or lose...
it's if you win and live!
Now get out there!
Where are you going?
Uh, would you believe there's a LISACME world cup taking place?
...in my laundry basket?
Come on, Max! Please?
Yeah, okay.
Looks like we're ready to begin!
♪
Oww! My cervical betafractal corneas!
Max, what are you doing?
Faking an injury.
Taking a dive.
It's all the rage in sports, I hear.
Ohhh! To die!
To sleepeth a thousand sleeps!
Hey, nonny-nonny!
Adieu... adieu... adieu...
♪
Halftime!
It's okay. We can still win...
in theory.
Max...?
We could really use your help.
Sorry. Love to, but broken my demi-semi-plorax,
et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Can barely move!
Snacks! Halftime snacks!
Oooh, snacky! Wait up!
Ah, who am I kidding?
My guys don't have any of the powers those guys have.
Ooh! But they could!
Halftime oranges! Delicious, nutritious...
and totally not suspicious!
- Mmm! Delish! - Yummy-yummy-yumster!
Is this vegan?
♪
Oh!
♪
Ciao!
♪
Oh!
Ooh!
Whoa-ho-ho! What was in those oranges?!
Not oranges.
They were orbs that contain my powers.
Gark, that was totally irresponsible.
Only a little.
...not to give me one!
Like... Like a long, stretchy tongue!
I need that! ...for something.
I have more powers, but they're working twice as hard
to make up for the others.
I'm taking a huge risk, relying only on them.
Oh, you're so selfish!
Come on. Just one!
♪
I don't believe my eye!
The Wieners...
are the winners!
"Dear blog, it was so good to get exercise"
and see Gark again.
Next time, I'll be sure to destroy him
"in the most painful way ever."
Yay!
I call bagsy!
I call shotgun!
Me want shiny!
Mine!
Ooh!
♪
Hey!
Now might be a good time to reclaim your powers.
I'm trying to...
but, for some reason, I feel so powerless.
Oh, really?
I wonder if that's got anything to do with the fact
you gave away your powers!
Hey, look! Free mail!
Know what this means?
We can snoop on people's gas bills!
We can do and take whatever we want!
Amped up on these oranges,
we're at the top of the pecking order!
He's right! We can be whoever we want.
King of nuts!
Queen of cats!
A pigeon!
Ugh. Gark...
Haven't been moisturizing, have you? Hmm?
You have to do something, Max.
My remaining powers are weakening.
Pfft! Talk about "drama queen"!
Fine! I'm on it.
Yes, minion groomies,
bathe your feline goddess for all eternity!
You know, the irony is, with a really long tongue,
you could probably just do that yourself.
En garde!
♪
Show her what you're made of, Max.
This is exhausting!
Gaaark!
Now I know what it feels like to be born.
Oof.
Good... job... Max.
Surrender yourself and nobody gets hurt!
Never!
Today, the world's walnuts!
Tomorrow, the lightly salted pistachios!
Nuts to you!
♪
Too late! Vet got there first!
Go... Max!
By the power of Nelson!
Pretty impressive, Nelson!
But can you turn yourself into...
hm-hm-hm... a nut?
I can!
Hamana hamana hamana hamana...
Oof!
Here, Gark! Catch!
Ugh. Sorry. Forgot.
I don't do sport!
- Mmm, oranges! - Nooo!
Ooh!
Elevated position? Covert location?
Grotesquely disfigured assistant?
It simply screams "evil lair"!
I'll take it!
Hey! That's my evil lair!
And my Gark!
Eat chair, kitty cat!
Maaax...
Whoa!
Oof! Ugh.
Who's the kitty cat now, puppy chow?
I can't do it, Gark.
Max... use the LISACME.
Where'd he go?!
Whoa! Oof!
Ahh, that's better!
Just one more missing power!
Max, have you seen it?
Um... Doot-doot-doot...
Seen it? No.
Just a little further!
A little further...
Now!
Watch and learn, weaklings!
This is how you warm up!
You said we were going to dig up
a buried treasure chest of golden cat toys!
We are! Just replace "dig up" with "play"
and "treasure chest" with "Trash-Ball"!
I refuse to play that dumb game!
I want my treasure chest! I want it, I want it, I want it!
But, Max... you get to play with all your friends!
Playing is stupid! Games are stupid!
Friends are stupid!
Nelson's a moron, The Kid's a weirdo,
Anton's a jerk...
No, you are!
...And Staring Dog is basically just a big hairy bagpipe!
They're unique!
How many times, Gark?
"I don't need friends!"
I've got an idea.
Let me guess.
You're going to show me alternate timelines
and prove how much my friends mean to me.
Uh huh! I got the idea from a very reliable source.
The movies?
No, silly! The internet!
Hmph.
Whoops!
Someone better go get it.
Well, I'm not going in there.
Me, neither.
Well, I guess that's it for Trash-Ball. See ya!
Come on, guys! We need a volunteer!
Guess it's me.
See? He's a moron!
Shh, Max!
How about we warm up with some stretches?
How about no?
Ready? One, two, six,
square root of thirty-one...
No stretching?
Oh, you want to be a cheerleader!
Give me an F! Give me an R!
Watch and learn, weaklings.
This is how you warm up!
I'll show you how to warm up.
Get off me!
Yee-haw!
Ride 'em, cowboy!
Give me a B!
Don't worry, Staring Dog!
I'll get your pom-pom back!
Whoa!
I got it!
Whoa!
So, you see, if Nelson had been here,
he and The Kid would have been doing their thing,
and The Kid wouldn't have jumped on Anton...
Yeah, yeah. I get it.
I also get that it proves nothing.
Okay.
Ugh. Here we go again.
"Ooh, it's an alternate timeline!"
Don't make fun.
I got the idea from a very reliable source!
The internet?
No, silly! The television!
Whoops! Someone better go get it!
Well, I'm not going in there.
Me, neither.
And this is where I head back to Betty's. Bye!
Come on, guys! We need a volunteer!
Ack! No fair!
...though I do applaud your sneakiness.
Wait! Wait!
What... What do I do now, without The Kid?
Hmm. I don't know. Maybe get a life!
Max...
How about we all warm up with some stretches?
How about no?
Ready? One, two, six,
eleventy-nine...
Watch and learn, weaklings.
This is how you warm up!
Can you help me warm up, Anton?
Oh, no. No, no, no!
Ooh! High five!
Oof!
Get off me!
Ack!
Aaaaah...
Oof!
So, you see, if The Kid had been here, he and Nelson...
Are you my assassin?
Don't worry, Max.
These are just timelines, remember? You're fine!
Hey, can we do a timeline where I fall into a giant vat
of kitty treats and have to eat my way out?
Don't make fun.
I got this idea from a very reliable source.
The television?
No, silly!
From Trash Can Hat Cat!
Whoops! Someone better go get...
Anton! Anton's turn!
It's got to be happening because of him!
What's got to be happening?
What do you mean, "turn"? Who's taking turns?
Nahahaha!
You go! Now!
Pfft! Fine. Whatever.
Lunatic!
I got you this time, Gark.
Nobody moves! Stay completely still!
Haha! See, Gark? Nothing's happening!
It was all Anton's fault!
I'm looking for Anton.
He took my chew stick.
Oh. He's not here.
Well, I've got to take it out on someone, so...
Oh, come on!
See, Max? Even Anton is important to you!
Oops! Someone better go get it!
In there I am not going!
Me, neither.
That's my cue, right?
"Well, off to not play Trash-Ball!"
Ohoho! What a surprise!
Come on, guys! We need a volunt...
Staring Dog! I volunteer him!
I'm not really sure that's how volunteering works.
Don't care.
All I know is he's so utterly pointless that, if he goes,
nothing can happen to me.
Oof!
That's impossible!
It makes no sense!
Gark, that wasn't fair!
Max, it's just alternate timelines!
"Alternate timelines!"
Come on! Next!
Oops! Someone better go...
Me, me! I'll go get it!
There's no way I can get pummelled if I go!
Are you sure, Max?
I'm going in there, and one of those guys can
get the daylights beat out of them!
Well, then!
Let's just see how you did without good ol' Max! I...
♪
No! No, no-no-no-no, no!
See, it's "I leave, Anton gets crushed by dump truck"!
It's not "I leave, everyone has fun"!
What? You're all saying I'm not fun?
But I... I am fun!
I'll show you!
Hey, guys! Can... Can I play, too?
Nelson! Flense it to the angle! I'm open!
Guys! I'm open!
Me! Max!
They can't hear you, Max.
Oh, shut up, Jackson. What do you even...
Wait, what?!
Can't see you, can't hear you.
They don't even know you exist...
because... you don't.
Ha! Well, if I don't exist, who are you talking to? Hmm?
Maybe I don't exist, either.
Why is this stupid day happening to me?!
New timeline, Gark!
Come on! Do your thing! "Whoosh!"
Maybe you should have appreciated them more.
Seriously?! You?!
You're my guarding angel in this?!
Oh, it's way too late for guardian angels... Max.
Too late? Why?
I did appreciate my friends.
I've just got a unique way of showing it -
you know, by not showing it.
It's Zen! Very advanced stuff, really.
What have I done?!
Guys, come on!
Nelson!
I didn't mean you're a moron.
You're delightfully eccentric!
And loyal, too!
The Kid!
Your pranks are always outside the box!
Your wisecracks are the wisest-crackiest!
I wish I could be half as creative and subversive!
And Anton! Anton, Anton...
Maybe we fight so much because
we're actually so much alike, hmm?
Well, that is, I'm really cool and refined,
and you're this mangy, cretinous...
What I mean is I do admire your scrappiness, your derring-do,
and your confidence to wear your hair like that!
Staring Dog!
What would I do without you and your...
staring?
Why aren't you staring at me?!
Make it stop, please!
I love you guys!
Why can't you hear me?!
Oh, we can hear you.
And see you, too.
Are you kidding me?!
We were just pretending!
Pretty funny, huh?
That's a lousy trick!
And I didn't mean a word I said!
Didn't you?
Yes, you did!
Fine!
But that's the last time you'll ever hear me say any of that!
Hmph! You I said nothing nice about.
Who are you talking to?
To Jackson!
What? You... You don't see him?
Guys, come on.
Yes, we see him.
You lot are total jerks.
Oh, Max...
I hope you're not mad.
Nah.
Hey, we never got to see what happened
if you went to get the ball.
Oh, yeah!
Well, Max? How did we do?
♪
Not too bad, Gark. Not too bad.